Ballyhoo Six

Ramification (r?m'?-fí-k?'sh?n) n: As Adam headed for the
showers, Jake whispered, "That's one RAMIFICATION I don't
think I could take."

As a final exam, Dr. Patterson performs a mock seduction
ceremony to ascertain temptation behaviors. It is very
realistic. The room is kept pitch black to assist the
illusion. Dr. Patterson prefers to lead the boys, the more
difficult of the genders. To add realism he wears a long
blonde wig and a huggy rayon gown with stockings and
heels. Believe me, it's hard to tell the difference. He
plays the part well. After thirty minutes alone in the
chamber together, the ones that fend him off earn their
purity rings. Those that don't are encouraged to return to
camp for more one-on-one intensive training. I admit, the
tack in my shoe technique as taught in the Advanced
Deviant Intervention Course was the only thing that
brought my thoughts back to the real world.

It doesn't get easier after completing the program. Some
say that's when the real work begins. But Abstinence Now!®
teaches us how to avoid all the types of predatory
fornicators. The Cougars, the Silver Foxes, the Sheiks,
Chubby Chasers, the Big Game Hunters, the Lolitas, the
Roman Candles, the Hose Beasts, and the Wallabies.
Definitely the Wallabies. There's many more out there.
Just take a walk through any Planned Parenthood office.
They're filled with examples.

bangle (b?ng'g?l) n: Virginia's BANGLES had a ruffled
appearance, ornamenting an already irresistible feature.

We were warned of the tricks our ge&it%lia might play on
us. The elders are actively seeking a solution. It is
difficult to research it myself due to my condition. For
now, we can black these words out of the pre-approved
reading material, just as we've done with all Johnsons,
Peters, and Dicks. It's been suggested by the elders that
I may have to give up reading altogether. I understand. It
is difficult to know when these words will pop up and have
their unforgivable effects on my physiology.

As a condition of my position and a proud member of
Abstinence Now®, I am expected to be an example to the
incumbents. It's tough work and most days I return to the
staff bunkers completely exhausted. But it is important
work. Sometimes we get to the young ones before they ever
fall prey to their lusts. Saved before it all gets so
complicated. The "lucky ones", we call them. The others,
the Revirginated® like myself, they understand it's better
this way. The program brings them clarity. No one will be
hurt again. We won't hurt anyone else. No one will feel
anything like that again.